Sunday, August 28, 2005

Lost in the Fog

"Lost in the Fog" is the name of a 3 year old race horse that has now won 9 straight sprint races. It also should be the name of the ESPN reporter that tried to interview the horse's owner 2 minutes before a race yesterday at Saratoga. I laughed harder yesterday than I have in a LONG LONG time! This could NOT have been scripted any better if "Saturday Night Live" had tried to do it. This owner (I can't remember his name) is a crusty old rancher from California. He is a no nonsense, straight shooting, tough as nails, face made of leather, John Wayne cowboy. He would have been played by Jack Palance (City Slickers) if they had made a movie of him. The upstart reporter from ESPN (who's name I never want to know) was your typical Pee-Wee Herman looking nerd that is trying to make his way up the broadcasting ladder by being obnoxious, and therefore noticed. He for SURE got noticed yesterday, and within about an inch of his life! So those are the players, and the upcoming scene took place in the grandstands about 2 minutes before the race started. I hope you have it visualized in your mind. It will be sketched in my mind for the rest of my life.

Ok, here is how it played out. The Ivy League reporter walked up behind the old rancher and shoved the microphone in front of the owner's face. Before a first question is even uttered, you can tell this ain't going over good with the cowboy.
The reporter asked: "How much will you sell your horse for?" The old man grumbles: "He's not for sale." and with the look on his face he also communicates non-verbally "you better get the Blankety Blank microphone out of my face before it is sticking out an orifice in the lower half of your body!" Clueless, the reporter says "Why Not?". Ok, at this point I am just waiting to see how many paramedics are going to be needed at the scene. You can see the old man trying his dead level best to keep his composure, and he goes ahead and says something to the effect of "Because if I sold him I would not get the joy of watching him win as the owner, and you can't put a price tag on that." Great answer by the way. Are all old cowboys wise like Gus in "Lonesome Dove"? Finally, the absurdity is taken to the max when the wimpy reporter says: "You played minor league baseball and fought in the Battle of the Bulge. How does this compare with those events?" There is no way I can describe how exasperated or dumbfounded the wise old cow-puncher looked at this moment! Then you could just see the anger start from his toes and rush up to his face. At this point, you could tell that if they had been ANY place else, he would have cold-cocked this smart-aleck young buck who called himself a reporter. If they had been anywhere else, we might be reading an obit for the poor young thing. In the most disgusting tone of voice you can imagine.........one of those demeaning tones that just makes you want to crawl under a rock and stay forever, the old man said "now how am I going to compare 8 horse races with fighing in the Battle of the GD Bulge"!! I haven't laughed that hard in YEARS!! Jan thought I had lost it. Yes, he did use profanity.......and no, I don't approve of that. But I wanta tell you, if you had been watching it you probably would have agreed with me that the punk had it coming. He was clueless.........and so insensitive in several areas. He may be the nicest guy in the world, but yesterday he got what he had coming to him. Now we'll see if the brass at ESPN get it, and teach him how to interview or fire him. This was the best I had seen since a young female TV reporter asked Bear Bryant during a half-time interview why he had substituted one player for another. He very calmly but disgustedly said: "the same reason I do anything in a game, because I think it will help us win" and just walked off. That was before the expression "DUH" had come around.........but that for sure was a "DUH" if I ever heard one. These reporters must be getting paid on the side by comedians for new material. That is about the only explanation that I can think of.

So, no deep thoughts today. No spiritual applications. Just sharing a lighter moment that made me appreciate the gift of laughter. And sharing my concern that this next generation might not get it, if this want-a-be reporter is representative of what is coming down the pike. Horse racing and The Battle of the Bulge. Ya think?

One "Lost in the Fog" was a winner yesterday, the other one insulted the dignity of every soldier who has ever fought in war. I hope they can forgive his brash manner, and his unbelievable ignorance. He should pray they will.

I will too.........after I quit laughing. :)

6 Comments:

At 8:53 PM, Blogger Bar L. said...

You did a GREAT JOB describing this scene! I was rolling in laughter myself and I only saw/heard it second hand through you. GREAT story, thanks for sharing it!!

 
At 8:40 AM, Blogger drjimwhite said...

It's good to laugh, friend. Sounds to me as if the reporter was the one Lost in a Fog.

 
At 8:44 AM, Blogger Donna G said...

Thanks for sharing...I could picture it and I loved it!

 
At 9:11 AM, Blogger Jeff said...

I love it! I wish I had seen it.

There's nothing like a snot-nosed young reporter getting slapped down.

I understand that reporters have a job to do. But it seems that some reporters want to make news instead of just reporting the news.

I've always liked how Bob Knight, Mike Ditka and Bill Parcels handled such questions from reporters. Their press conferences are always entertaining. I think the best one was when a reporter asked coach Knight if his players had their "game face" on. That's a classic.

 
At 12:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting comment Jeff. As a journalist I'd like to suggest that we amend and expand your quote. For instance we could say:

"There's nothing like a snot-nosed preacher getting slapped down. I understand that preachers have a job to do. But it seems that some preachers want to be the sermon instead of just preaching the sermon."

Signed,
Sassy journalist in the Reynolds Center

 
At 1:34 PM, Blogger Jeff said...

Amen to that, Sassy Journalist!

I've known a few of those preachers -- and I've certainly been guilty of being the sermon instead of preaching the sermon.

 

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